At some point or another, you’ll experience jealousy in your relationship. If it’s in moderation, it shouldn’t cause a problem. But if the issue is ongoing and unreasonable, you run the chance of destroying your relationship very quickly.
It’s not about putting an end to your jealousy; it’s about knowing how to control it. You are lucky to be in a relationship, you’re lucky to be experiencing love, so of course you’re going to get jealous from time to time. As long as you’re both willing to work on the issues and make compromises for each other, jealousy shouldn’t cause the end of your relationship.
Today, New Jersey Singles reviews how to handle jealousy, before it can destroy your relationship. Read on to find out how to properly control it so you can promote a long-lasting and healthy relationship with your partner.
1. Don’t compare your relationship to past relationships.
Being cheated on, lied to, or taken advantage of in a previous relationship can cause many people to have a bad outlook on relationships. Maybe your partner cheated on you or lied to you about something that was important, so you now find it difficult to trust your current partner. As professional matchmakers, we know this is unfair because your current partner hasn’t done anything to you. You can’t punish them for mistakes someone else made in the past.
Of course your guard will always be a little higher because you’re afraid of getting hurt again, but you need to let go of the past in order to have a healthy relationship. Don’t let your fears and doubts prevent you from having a good relationship, and never let your insecurities cause you to push your partner away.
Try to let go of any negative feelings you have from previous relationships. There’s a reason why they didn’t work out, so it’s time to move on and enjoy what you have today.
2. Stop stalking their social media accounts.
Don’t stalk your partner online. Really, just don’t do it. Stalking your partner’s social media accounts can create doubts and unwarranted worries on your part. Your stalking can quickly turn into a bad obsession, causing you to check their social media daily and question their every move.
You will start to examine everything, read into every post, check their Instagram pictures, look at their phones and even read emails. Why? Because you think something is going on, and the more you do it, the more normal it becomes. As professional matchmakers, we want you to put an end to this unhealthy behavior.
You might think your partner will never find out you’re stalking them behind their back, but it will all come out sooner or later. And once it does, they’re going to think you don’t trust them, which could put an end to your relationship.
Not many people would stay with someone who is a stalker or doesn’t trust them. You are creating a problem that’s not even there to begin with. If you have any suspicions, go talk to your partner instead of driving yourself nuts and stalking them.
3. Change your attitude.
If you continue to let jealousy control you, you’re going to end up pushing your partner away. They need to know you’re in control of your jealousy issues. Healthy couples talk about their problems, so if something is going on, make sure you let them in and work together to solve the issue.
Two people can love each other but have completely different interests, and that’s okay. Your partner can enjoy the day with their friends while you stay at home and read a book or grab coffee with your friends. There is no need to get jealous about that or get upset because they want to do something else on their own. Our dating coaches know how important it is to spend time apart and enjoy partaking in your own hobbies. In fact, it’s essential to keep a happy and healthy relationship going strong.
4. Don’t play games.
If you’re serious about this relationship, then it’s time to stop playing games. Flirting with other people to make your partner jealous is extremely immature and can end up backfiring on you. Instead of getting jealous, they might walk away.
If the only way to get attention from your partner is by making them jealous, that’s a huge red flag. You need to figure out why you’re so insecure and work on it. You can’t blame your partner for your own insecurities; that’s something you need to work on yourself.
Communication is also essential. Maybe they take a few hours to reply to your texts. Instead of letting it get to you, talk to them about it so they know it bothers you when they don’t respond in a timely manner. Not everyone has their phone attached to their hip. Maybe they’re in a work meeting or are running errands and can’t get to their phone. Maybe your partner had it on silent and never heard it. If you don’t talk to them about it, you’ll create a problem that was never there in the first place.
5. Take responsibility for yourself.
No one is responsible for your jealousy issues but you. You’re the only one who is causing the problem. Instead of putting the blame on your partner, own up to your own insecurities and work on them so you can’t put an end to your doubts.
6. Work on your insecurities.
If you see your partner talking to an attractive member of the opposite sex, don’t think they have something going on. Your partner could simply be polite. It’s easy to let your imagination run wild and assume they’re having an affair, but your partner chose you, which means they love you. Don’t let your insecurities get the best of you all the time.
Start thinking about why you feel this way. Has your partner given you any reasons to doubt them? Have they been behaving suspiciously lately? If they haven’t, then it’s only you.
You see attractive people of the opposite sex as competition and are afraid to lose your partner. Yes, she is beautiful, and of course he is attractive, but that doesn’t mean your partner is going to leave you to be with them. Don’t think that way. It’s time to start believing that you’re worthy of their love.
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