When you first met your partner, you were love struck—they were the best thing that ever happened in your life. They were good looking, kind, and everything was fun. Everything you did with them felt fabulous. The relationship felt perfect. But before you know it, things started to change. So slowly that one day it hit you and things were no longer like they once were.
You still love them, and of course they love you back, but the relationship is hitting some rough patches. Here at New Jersey Singles, we like to call those storms. There are no thunders yet and no warning signs, but you know there is something wrong. Our NJ matchmakers have a few things to look out for if you don’t want to lose your partner.
1. Berating Each Other.
When the two of you first met, you could not stop telling people how great your partner was. From the way they smiled to the way they took care of their house, but now you can’t help but to crack jokes about them—their bad cooking skills and how they are always arriving late to work.
Approaching life with a dash of humor is perfect, but making fun of your partner is not. Instead of picking at all their flaws, try to never stop looking for things you love about your partner. When you are out with their friends or family, make sure you talk positively about your partner. Even when the two of you are alone, take time to remember why you fell in love with them to begin with. If you don’t want to lose your partner, make sure you give them compliments and always respect and treat them right.
The way decide to think and talk about your partner will affect your relationship with them. Talking nicely about your partner and praising them is much better than berating them and bringing them down. How would you like it if they did the same thing to you?
2. Not Spending Enough Time Apart
It’s a good thing to live with your partner, and it can even be great working together. However, you still need to miss your partner by spending time away from them. To maintain your sense of independence, you must maintain your own hobbies and interests. You need to know that you are still capable of doing your own things—you need that confidence for yourself. Otherwise, instead of being attracted to each other, you’ll become dependent on each other, which is unhealthy.
You need to make sure you spend an evening or two every week doing the things you enjoy doing. Of course you need to do things as a couple but do things by yourself too. Our NJ matchmakers know this will ignite the passion in your relationship.
3. Being Addicted to Sweatpants & Comfy Clothes
There is no denying that everyone prefers to lay around in comfy clothes, and nowadays, even comfy clothes can be sexy. And let’s face it, there is nothing better than getting home, putting on comfy clothes, and cuddling up with your partner; after all, seeing your partner relaxed and not afraid of being themselves is a turn on. At the same, though, you must make sure you don’t do it every day of the week.
Once or twice a week we encourage you to dress up and impress your partner by wearing something you normally wouldn’t wear. Just because the two of you are in a long term relationship doesn’t mean you need to look like you no longer care for yourself. In order for your relationship to last, you need to win each other’s hearts every day, so don’t ever forget that.
4. Not Talking to Each Other
When you first met your partner, the two of you could talk about everything and anything. You wanted to hear their stories, their secrets, their dreams and aspirations… But after you dated them for a while, you started to take them for granted. You stopped asking questions, you stopped digging. Here at New Jersey Singles, we want you to know that your partner is always changing and growing as a person, so you don’t really know them unless you continue talking to them.
Just as we reminded you to win your partner’s heart by dressing up, you also have to win them over by talking to them every day. Ask them questions about how their day is going, how they’re doing, and what they’re thinking. Ask them if their dreams are still the same as when the two of you met. We have a feeling you see that some things have changed over time. Likewise, you want to share your own feelings and thoughts with them.
5. Things Around the House
It seems like it’s always the silly little things that cause fights, things like leaving the dishes in the sink, not taking out the trash, not closing the shower curtain, or leaving wet towels on the floor. If your partner hates that you leave your towel on the floor, try to remember not to leave it on the floor; otherwise, they’re bound to feel disrespected. If you don’t listen to what your partner asks of you, they’re going to feel disrespected and ignored, so make it a point to do the little things around the house.
6. Falling into Routines
Routines are great, and the two of you are probably in a routine you follow on a daily basis; however, if your life becomes one big routine, with no disruptions, the relationship, and your life, is going to feel stagnant. We don’t want you to feel that way. We want you to explore new things as a couple and always try learning new things together. Go out to new places you wouldn’t normally go, go on an adventure with your partner, whether it means hiking, biking, rock climbing, or even visiting Six Flags, do something new together. Try getting your adrenaline pumping in a weekend or evening full of adventures. This will help you break out of your routines and bring the spark back to your relationship.
Do not allow the storms to ruin your relationship. Remember that after a rainy day, the sun always follows. Do you have any more relationship tips you would like to share with us? Our NJ matchmakers would love to hear from you on our Facebook page.
Single and searching? Contact our expert matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles and let us help you find the love you deserve! 1 (888) 417-0020