Are you teetering on the idea of putting an end to your marriage? It could have been the perfect marriage, the type of relationship you see in a romantic Hollywood movie, but somewhere along the line things went sour and started getting bad.
Arguments all the time, accusations flying, and insecurities and jealousy started taking over—a whole lot of negative things that damaged the marriage. Now, here are you, thinking about it, getting a divorce.
Know There’s No Way Back
Once you go down the path of divorce, know that there’s no way back. This is the final decision to ending your marriage and it’s something you must give a lot of thought to. Not being happy with a situation is not a valid reason to get a divorce. Today, our team of relationship experts here at New Jersey Singles will review a few questions you must ask yourself before you go down the path of divorce.
Things to Consider Before Getting a Divorce
Getting a divorce might be floating through your mind, or you might have already made up your mind, but let our relationship experts share a couple things with you before you make a decision so life changing. The following list from our New Jersey upscale matchmakers contains some very important things you need to do before ultimately deciding to end it.
Not everyone handles situations in a mature way all the time. You might have lost an argument with your partner or perhaps a decision was made in the relationship that you’re not happy about and are now using the divorce card to threaten your partner.
Threatening your partner with a divorce is not healthy and should never be done, regardless of what they’ve done to you. Unless a divorce is what you truly want, you should never threaten your partner with it. It will surely hurt them and damage the trust in the relationship.
- Have you done everything you could?
It might seem like an obvious question to ask, but have you done everything in your power to save your marriage? If you haven’t, and you still love your partner, then you need to do whatever it takes. It’s worth it to revisit the idea of saving your relationship because a divorce is not an easy process and it’s not something you can take back.
Have you talked to your partner about it? Have you talked to friends and family? Have you tried getting help from a professional marriage counselor? If the answer is no, even to one of them, then you may not have done enough. If you still have love in the relationship, then you must exhaust all your options before you decide to get a divorce.
- Are you still in love with them?
If you are still in love with this person, then you are wasting a precious relationship. Finding love is one of the most difficult things in life, and if you already have it, our New Jersey upscale matchmakers encourage you to cherish it. Marriages aren’t always happy times, and that’s something you need to understand. Take a second to examine your marriage and your feelings and see if you can save it.
- Have you been influenced?
A lot of times friends, family, or even the media can be bad influences, as their points of views are coming from an outside stance. Make sure that your decision to end your marriage is yours and solely yours.
- Will single life be better for you?
Many people who are married think that the single life is glamorous and want to be single again. However, the single life is not as glamourous as people think it is. The first few weeks might be fun as you’re out hitting up the town with your friends, but what about after that when loneliness sets in?
You will be lonely again, you will not have a partner by your side, you will lose some friends, and your social circle will shrink. Your lifelong confidante, your best friend and partner will not be by your side anymore, and you will miss them if you still had love for them.
- Could you survive financially?
Yes, you have to take financial considerations into account before you decide to get a divorce. Now, this is not to say you should ever stay in a relationship just because of money, but you need to have a plan in place.
- Can you live without your children?
If the two of you have children together, there is a chance, depending on the state you live in, that one of you will lose custody. This means you will not be able to see your children every day like you do now, which is one of the worst hardships a person can endure. If there’s a chance you can save your relationship and keep your family together, it’s a shot worth taking.
- Are your expectations about marriage too high?
Unfortunately, many people get married with the idea that a marriage will be like a romantic Hollywood movie. Unfortunately, marriages and relationships aren’t like that. Relationships aren’t love stories and fairytales like you watch on TV. Marriage takes a lot of work and compromising from both partners, and failing to know this will make your marriage crash to the ground. If you’re stuck on the idea that marriage is like a Hollywood movie, always full of sunshine and rainbows, you must let go of the idea. Marriages are not something that are perfect all the time. There will be sunny days as well as gloomy ones.
- Can you give it another go?
Even if you have the slightest doubt in your mind, hold on. Don’t decide to get a divorce in the heat of the moment. Your marriage and best friend deserve a second chance. You might be frustrated with a situation, but don’t lose your marriage over something if you can work it out. If you see something worth fighting for, fight to save your marriage.
Filing for a divorce can change your life forever and will affect you and everyone around you. If you’re thinking about a divorce, make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. If the love is gone and obstacles cannot be overcome, then you have the right to do what you need to do to find happiness again.
If you’re struggling to date as a divorced single, contact our New Jersey Singles matchmakers and let us help you navigate the modern day dating scene. Call 1 (888) 417-0020 today to set up a private and confidential consultation.