Are you unsure about whether or not you’re ready to date again? Find out as the professional matchmakers from New Jersey Singles Dating Service review the top six signs you’re not ready to come back to dating just yet.
Divorced and thinking about reentering the dating world again? Then this undoubtedly means that you have already gotten over your divorce and the things that went wrong in your marriage. You have learned lessons and are now ready to take on the New Jersey dating scene again. Or, it could mean you’re only looking for a quick distraction in order to keep your head busy.
So how can you tell if you’re ready to reenter the dating scene again? Our New Jersey Singles matchmakers know this can be challenging for many singles. We don’t want you to end up with a broken heart, which is why today, our dating and relationship experts will review the signs you’re not ready to reenter just yet.
1. You Want to Date to Prove Your Ex Wrong
If your only motivation is to get your ex fired up or to get a reaction from them, then you’re not ready to date again. Not only are you wasting your time, but you will also be setting yourself up for bad karma—bad dating karma. Remember, when you date, there are two people involved. And we’re not referring back to your ex here, we’re referring to the new person you’ll be dating.
Dating someone new to get at your ex is unfair to your new partner. If your only goal for coming back to dating is to make your ex jealous, angry, or sad, then you are still not over them. Please, save everyone the heartache and wait until you are completely over your divorce so you can come back to dating again.
2. Your Divorce Is Your Only Topic of Conversation
Only wanting to talk about your divorce is a clear sign that you’re not over your marriage just yet. When you are 100% ready to date again, believe us that the divorce topic will be the last thing on your mind. Once the topic of your divorce is gone, then you know you’re ready.
There will be a time to let your new love interest know about your past relationship, but the first date is not the time. Resist the urge to share things about your ex or your divorce in general. Rather than letting your divorce dominate the entire conversation on your date, learn new topics of conversation so you can keep the date conversation flowing naturally.
3. You’re Always Comparing Them to Your Ex
Your ex was overweight and now you date muscle guys. Your ex was a party girl and now you want to date women who frequent church. It is okay to learn from previous relationships and make your future decisions accordingly. If your ex was an alcohol, then by all means, stay away from people who have binge drinking problems. But going against everyone who is similar to your ex, even avoiding the opposite sex because they have the same hair color, shows that you are still hung up on your ex.
When you start making comparisons between your new dates and your ex, you’re going to make bad judgments. Again, our New Jersey Singles want you to know that you must be completely over your ex in order to go back to the dating world again.
4. You’re Still Sad or Angry about the Divorce
A healthy relationship requires two people to be healthy themselves. If you are still angry, sad, or resentful about your divorce, or your ex, then you are not 100% ready to date again.
In order to come back to the dating world, you must have healed and completely gotten over those feelings. Now, we’re not suggesting that you have to get to a point where you like your ex, because that may never happen. We are just suggesting that you be to the point that when you think about your ex, it doesn’t make you sad or angry. You need to reach a point where you don’t feel a grudge or feel a wound. You should ideally feel indifference.
5. You Talk about Them All the Time
If you have kids with your ex, of course you’re going to have to communicate with them, but if you find yourself always reaching out to them for unnecessary reasons, then something is up. If you are trying to remain friends with your ex, just because, then that might be an indication that you are not emotionally separated from him or her. You need to let go of them; otherwise, you’re just hurting yourself. You need to let go of them as it is one of the most important steps in getting over your divorce and moving on with your dating life.
6. You Haven’t Taken Time
Unless you can see by the date on the calendar that your divorce is several months old, then you won’t be ready to date again. Our New Jersey Singles matchmakers know many people make the mistake of jumping right back into the dating scene again after their divorce. Resist the urge to dive in too soon.
With the end of any relationship, especially a marriage, comes a mourning period. Things will undoubtedly change, and you need to allow yourself to go through the emotions before you can come back to dating. You must give yourself plenty of time to get your single life back in order. Take time to recover from the blows a divorce brings, and make sure your wounds are healed before you date again.
Maybe You Are a Serial Dater
Some people just can’t stand being alone, which is why they jump back into the dating scene to fill the void. If this sounds like you, then you are going to experience troubles in the future. Do you find yourself jumping from relationship to relationship? If so, you could be what we call a serial dater.
Have you gotten over your divorce? Do you think you’re ready to date again? If you’re not sure, call in and set up a matchmaking consultation with one of our dating specialists. We have been helping divorced men and women for over 25 years, and we’ll know if you’re ready to date again.