New Jersey Singles Dating Service receives many complaints about marriage and its often overwhelming challenges. With this helpful guide by our Lawrenceville matchmakers, you can live that happily ever after ending you always dreamed of.
Don’t be fooled into thinking relationships are a walk in the park or love-filled bliss every second of the day. On the contrary, there is a lot of time and work that goes into having a successful and long lasting marriage. Kids, grandkids, affairs, illnesses, careers, bills, and everything in between, everything can affect the outcome of your marriage.
So what are you supposed to do when the honeymoon phase is over and real life and its hardships set in? Do you simply walk away at the first sign of trouble or do you keep fighting to save your marriage? You might have come across some of this advice before, but there is no denying that it can help you save your marriage. Today, we want to let you in on some helpful advice from our professional matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles Dating Service.
1. Don’t Let Your Mood Dictate Your Words
Just because you are angry, upset, or sad doesn’t mean your partner needs to take the brunt of it. After a long day at the office, it’s not uncommon for people to take it all out on their spouses as soon as they get in the door. You might be angry at your boss, ticked at a work colleague, irate with the cab driver, or appalled that someone cut you off, but at the end of the day, you should never take it out on your spouse.
It’s not your wife or husband’s fault that your boss laughed at your presentation. It wasn’t your spouse’s fault that the cab driver got a flat tire. And it certainly wasn’t their fault someone rear-ended you on the way home. Leave your crappy feelings outside of your home. We know this will take a lot of practice, and we’re not saying it’s going to be easy, but you can certainly do it.
2. You Can Act Silly
Don’t worry, this one doesn’t take as much effort as the first tip. Yes, you read that right, never be afraid to be silly with your spouse. Whether it’s having a tickle fest on the couch or telling them a funny joke you heard at work, do whatever it is you can do to bring humor into your relationship. Humor will keep things healthy and fun; after all, everyone knows laughter is the best medicine.
3. Don’t Blame Each Other
Remember, if you want to save your marriage, you shouldn’t play the blaming game. Sure, there are scenarios where you know who the culprit is, and constantly arguing about who forgot to take out the trash or who left the garage door open is not going to help your marriage. But what we’re talking about here are the bigger things, things like blaming your partner for your loneliness because he took you to another country to advance in his career or blaming your spouse for your son’s bad grades. Remember that the two of you are a team that should love and support each other, not pick fights and blame each other all the time.
4. See the Best in Your Spouse
Always focus on the good things about your spouse and your marriage. Once you begin to see only the bad, that’s all you’re going to see, and you will have a hard time changing that thought. Instead of thinking, “Oh gosh, he’s such a pig leaving messes all over the house,” focus on, “I love how he keeps our child respectful.” Our matchmakers encourage you to try to always see the best in every situation.
5. Go Out on Dates
Life always tends to get in the way of our relationships, and love suffers and takes a backseat. If you can keep appointments with your nail lady, your barber, the bank manager, your boss, or the vet, you can definitely make time to go out with your spouse. Our matchmaking experts encourage you to schedule date night at least once a week. Whether it’s simply to grab coffee at a local coffee shop or to go watch a movie together, make it a point to enjoy each other’s company. And before you even think it, having kids is no excuse for not going out on dates. Get a babysitter and open a bottle of wine.
6. Your Partner Should Be in a Special Place in Your Heart
Infidelity is one of the main reasons of divorce every year. No matter how hot your secretary looks every morning when she brings you your coffee or how sexy your tennis coach is, don’t even think about breaching the trust you promised when you got married. You need to put your partner in a special place in your heart so you’re never tempted to be unfaithful to them. Your partner doesn’t deserve to be hurt by your selfishness so be sure you resist any temptation that comes your way.
7. Learn Your Partner’s Language
You should try to make an effort to make your partner happy even if it means you’re not having such a good time yourself. For example, if your partner loves biking and you hate it, you should be a good sport and go with them once in a while. Learn your partner’s language, and do what you can do to let your partner know you love them. Try to learn to appreciate the things they enjoy even if you cannot stand those things.
8. Always Be Happy
Contrary to what people say, happiness is your choice. If you choose to be happy and grateful for what you have, you will find happiness comes to you easily. Never compare your spouse to anyone else’s because you never know what goes on behind closed doors. And never compare your spouse to Hollywood movies because that’s not a reality. When you got married, you promised your spouse you would love them for better or for worse, and nothing screams love like choosing to be happy with your life together. Value their presence in your life and make a conscious effort to be happy and live the life you promised each other.
There is no guarantee your marriage is ever going to be trouble-free, but if you follow the above advice from our professional matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles, you’ll see the bond between you and your spouse will be so strong that no road block will ever be able to stop it.