There will be a time when you meet someone you feel is the ideal one for you. After just one date, you think this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. But there is a problem: they don’t feel the same way for you. Should you obsess about that person and keep trying or should you move on with your life? Our Colts Neck matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles have the answers for you.
Dating is similar to a dance when two strangers dance together and see if they click. You go through the motions of going out and getting to know each other, but dating only provides you with a limited amount of time to spend with that person and you’re left clinging to what little you know.
Why Do People Obsess Over That One Perfect Date?
Even if it seemed like this one date was out of the movies, you can’t really get to know someone on just one date. Let’s just say you had a great time with them and felt they were the one for you. How can you really be so sure of this? How can you really get to know someone in a one hour period of time? You have not taken into account their emotions, you don’t even know if they like you, and you don’t know if they were putting up a façade.
Just because your first date went well doesn’t mean you’ll have a relationship with them. It’s understandable that you feel pumped, but don’t put all your bets on that one date. There is a lot more to a relationship than one successful date. You have to observe how that person treats you after the date and gauge if there was a real connection.
What Happens When You Keep Comparing Dates to That One Perfect One?
As much as you would like to believe that you’re not obsessing over that perfect date, you know you are. And here is what happens when you can’t stop thinking about that one perfect date.
- You want something to happen.
Even though the truth is right in front of your eyes, you don’t acknowledge it because you keep fixating on that perfect date. You are waiting with your phone in hand with great hopes they call, you’re waiting for them to post something on Facebook, or to ask you out again. But even when none of these things happen, you still insist on waiting for them, which leads us to our next important point.
- You ignore other dating opportunities.
Other people are waiting for the chance to ask you out on a date, but you are ignoring them because you think that person you went out on the perfect date with is going to ask you out again. You refuse to forget that person because you think they’re going to come back for you. But if that person does not feel the same way, you’re losing your chances of finding someone else.
- You come up with theories in your head.
You start coming up with theories in your head and tell yourself they’re not calling you because they have a busy schedule. Even though they’re ignoring you, you refuse to admit it. You will then start questioning your own value and whether or not you did something that made the date go sour. Your mind will start to overthink and overanalyze everything you said and did on the date, to the point you lose sleep over it.
- You try to fix the problem.
Although the problem here is your unwillingness to forget that one person, you start to think the problem is you and what you’re doing wrong. You start fixing yourself up because you think it’ll land you another chance. It might work or it might not, but if it doesn’t, then you’re just wasting your time. If someone is not interested in you, there is nothing you can do that can make them change their feelings towards you.
- You lash out.
Once the message is received, you blame the person for making you fall for them. They are now the bad person, even though they didn’t do anything. It’s not their fault that you had a good time with them, they were just playing the field and exploring their options. Unfortunately for you, they did not reciprocate your feelings, but there is nothing you can do but accept it and move on.
How to Finally Stop Obsessing Over That One Perfect Date
It’s not easy to forget about that one perfect date, and it’s even harder if you already envisioned yourself with this person—your relationship, the things you would do as a couple, and even the names of your future pets or kids. It’s not easy, but our Colts Neck matchmakers will show you how to put it behind you and move on.
- It’s just a date.
A date is just a date, and this person did not offer you a marriage proposal. A date is similar to a test drive, and obviously they did not like what they saw. If it didn’t work out with this one, it might work out with the next one, but you’ll never find out unless you put this one behind you and move onto the next one.
- Know you’re worth it.
If your date did not see how great you are, then that’s their loss. You cannot value yourself by the way others perceive you. Understand that you’re a great catch with a lot of qualities that will make you a great partner—and eventually, someone will find them.
- Your happiness is not up to them.
Just because you had a good time with them on your date doesn’t mean that’s the only way you can be happy. Of course you can’t redo the date, but there are other options to have fun. The best thing you can do now is hold onto those memories and look forward to your next awesome date—with someone who fancies you too.
Obsessing over a date is not advisable, but it can happen to anyone, especially if you are someone who wears their heart on their sleeve. Don’t feel bad about it; be proud you had a great time. Believe us when we tell you that your one true love is out there waiting for you. Do you want to have another awesome first date experience? Don’t wait another day, call and set up a consultation with our Colts Neck matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles Dating Service by calling 1 (888) 417-0020 today. We’re eager to hear from you and help you get started on your quest of finding real love!