Do’s & Don’t’s

Colts Neck Matchmakers Teach You How to Stop Comparing Your Dates

There will be a time when you meet someone you feel is the ideal one for you. After just one date, you think this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. But there is a problem: they don’t feel the same way for you. Should you obsess about that person and keep trying or should you move on with your life? Our Colts Neck matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles have the answers for you.

Dating is similar to a dance when two strangers dance together and see if they click. You go through the motions of going out and getting to know each other, but dating only provides you with a limited amount of time to spend with that person and you’re left clinging to what little you know.

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Why Do People Obsess Over That One Perfect Date?

Even if it seemed like this one date was out of the movies, you can’t really get to know someone on just one date. Let’s just say you had a great time with them and felt they were the one for you. How can you really be so sure of this? How can you really get to know someone in a one hour period of time? You have not taken into account their emotions, you don’t even know if they like you, and you don’t know if they were putting up a façade.

Just because your first date went well doesn’t mean you’ll have a relationship with them. It’s understandable that you feel pumped, but don’t put all your bets on that one date. There is a lot more to a relationship than one successful date. You have to observe how that person treats you after the date and gauge if there was a real connection.

What Happens When You Keep Comparing Dates to That One Perfect One?

As much as you would like to believe that you’re not obsessing over that perfect date, you know you are. And here is what happens when you can’t stop thinking about that one perfect date.

  1. You want something to happen.

Even though the truth is right in front of your eyes, you don’t acknowledge it because you keep fixating on that perfect date. You are waiting with your phone in hand with great hopes they call, you’re waiting for them to post something on Facebook, or to ask you out again. But even when none of these things happen, you still insist on waiting for them, which leads us to our next important point.

  1. You ignore other dating opportunities.

Other people are waiting for the chance to ask you out on a date, but you are ignoring them because you think that person you went out on the perfect date with is going to ask you out again. You refuse to forget that person because you think they’re going to come back for you. But if that person does not feel the same way, you’re losing your chances of finding someone else.

  1. You come up with theories in your head.

You start coming up with theories in your head and tell yourself they’re not calling you because they have a busy schedule. Even though they’re ignoring you, you refuse to admit it. You will then start questioning your own value and whether or not you did something that made the date go sour. Your mind will start to overthink and overanalyze everything you said and did on the date, to the point you lose sleep over it.

  1. You try to fix the problem.

Although the problem here is your unwillingness to forget that one person, you start to think the problem is you and what you’re doing wrong. You start fixing yourself up because you think it’ll land you another chance. It might work or it might not, but if it doesn’t, then you’re just wasting your time. If someone is not interested in you, there is nothing you can do that can make them change their feelings towards you.

  1. You lash out.

Once the message is received, you blame the person for making you fall for them. They are now the bad person, even though they didn’t do anything. It’s not their fault that you had a good time with them, they were just playing the field and exploring their options. Unfortunately for you, they did not reciprocate your feelings, but there is nothing you can do but accept it and move on.

How to Finally Stop Obsessing Over That One Perfect Date

It’s not easy to forget about that one perfect date, and it’s even harder if you already envisioned yourself with this person—your relationship, the things you would do as a couple, and even the names of your future pets or kids. It’s not easy, but our Colts Neck matchmakers will show you how to put it behind you and move on.

  1. It’s just a date.

A date is just a date, and this person did not offer you a marriage proposal. A date is similar to a test drive, and obviously they did not like what they saw. If it didn’t work out with this one, it might work out with the next one, but you’ll never find out unless you put this one behind you and move onto the next one.

  1. Know you’re worth it.

If your date did not see how great you are, then that’s their loss. You cannot value yourself by the way others perceive you. Understand that you’re a great catch with a lot of qualities that will make you a great partner—and eventually, someone will find them.

  1. Your happiness is not up to them.

Just because you had a good time with them on your date doesn’t mean that’s the only way you can be happy. Of course you can’t redo the date, but there are other options to have fun. The best thing you can do now is hold onto those memories and look forward to your next awesome date—with someone who fancies you too.

Obsessing over a date is not advisable, but it can happen to anyone, especially if you are someone who wears their heart on their sleeve. Don’t feel bad about it; be proud you had a great time. Believe us when we tell you that your one true love is out there waiting for you. Do you want to have another awesome first date experience? Don’t wait another day, call and set up a consultation with our Colts Neck matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles Dating Service by calling 1 (888) 417-0020 today. We’re eager to hear from you and help you get started on your quest of finding real love!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WARNING: Do NOT Date These Single Women in New Jersey

We all lead hectic lifestyles, between work, socializing, staying in shape, and relaxing, we barely have time to venture out in the dating world. And as you may already know, this makes it very frustrating when we come across someone and devote our time to them, only to find out months later that we were just wasting our time with someone who didn’t want the same thing. Luckily, when you know what you’re looking for, it’s easy to identify what single women are looking for something serious and which ones are going to waste your time.

You need to be well-prepared and realize that not all single women in New Jersey are looking for something serious. You need to be prepared so you can pinpoint which ones want something serious and which ones are just a waste of time. Today, our expert matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles will show you how to tell the difference so you don’t waste your precious time.

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The Single Women You Must Stay Away From

Do you want to find out who will end up disappointing you in the end? Here are the single women in New Jersey you need to stay away from if you’re looking for true love.

  1. The One Who’s Not Too into You

There is nothing worse than falling for a woman who doesn’t reciprocate that love. She could be a friend, a work colleague, or someone you know from the past. And since you have regular contact with her, you may start to develop romantic feelings for her.

The best thing you can do is keep your distance, especially if you know she’s already taken or told you (or hinted) that she doesn’t have romantic feelings for you. You need to find a woman who has romantic feelings for you or you’re going to end up with an aching heart. If you are her friend or work colleague, that might be the only thing you ever have with this woman. Focus your energy on looking for another woman who is emotionally available and into you.

  1. The One Who Just Wants to Be Friends

This is the classic line many single women in New Jersey use to let a man down. She could have given you this reason and told you she’s not looking for anything serious or said she doesn’t want to ruin the friendship you both have. Understand that these justifications are to spare you the pain of telling you the truth. She is being nice by not flat out telling you she’s not into you.

Remember that there is not much you can do once she uses this line on you. You are not Brad Pit or George Clooney, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You need to move on and pursue someone who does have feelings for you. You will get over this woman and one day look back and realize you never should have gotten hung up on her and wasted your time.

  1. The One Who Is Still into Her Ex

This one is not your fault—and again, there nothing you can do about this situation either. If she’s not over her ex, maybe she’s still head over heels for him, or worse, still sleeping with him—two things you don’t want to deal with.

If there are lingering emotions between her and her ex, nothing serious can develop between you and her. If time passes and she heals, maybe something can, but as for now, she’s still into her ex. Do not try to force anything because it will come back to bite you in you in the end.

  1. The One That Tells You She’s Always Busy

If she has blown you off time and time again with this ‘all too common’ excuse, then she’s just stringing you along. Chances are she only sees you as a guy, someone who is her friend or someone she can go out to eat with here and there, but nothing more. She might be giving you promises to make it up one day or is showing remorse, but in the end, there are no excuses or apologies. Our New Jersey matchmakers want you to know you’re better off not seeing this woman. You know why? Because when someone likes something, (or in this case someone), they make time.

  1. The One Who Sticks to Texts

We spend all day glued to our phones, which is especially true for women. However, our expert matchmakers don’t want you to fall into the trap of a texter. You might think you’re getting to know her, but real communication doesn’t go down via text. Nothing can replace face to face interaction, especially if you’re looking to make a real connection.

If a woman is only stringing you along by texting you, and nothing more, it’s because she doesn’t want to see you in person. When a woman likes a man, she will make time for him, not just rely on text conversation. From what it looks like here, she’s just looking for validation, which she is getting from all of your text messages.

  1. The One That Is into Your Bank Account

Everyone has heard gold diggers, and there are many single women in New Jersey who fit this criteria, so beware. Do not be the man who pays for everything and gets nothing in return.

Whether you choose to pay for the date is up to you, but don’t become the victim of a gold digger when you’re looking for true love. A gold digger is a woman who only shows interest in you until she gets what she wants but will never take it further. This woman is never going to develop a serious relationship with you.

If a woman is into you, she will not mind going on a picnic at the park or to grab coffee at a coffee shop. On the other hand, a woman is a gold digger will only want to see when five star dining or expensive shopping sprees are involved.

Now that you know the type of single women to avoid when looking for a serious relationship, you can refine your search. If you are looking for relationship-minded single women in New Jersey, we encourage you to follow the path of many men before you. Hire one of our expert matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles and we’ll introduce you to women who are worthy of your time. We have a large database of fun, successful, and attractive women who are also looking for real love. Contact us at 1 (888) 417-0020 to set up a private (no obligation) consultation today!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Jersey Singles Matchmaking | The Best 1st Date Tips for Men

The usual first date advice for men is not to have too high of expectations, but today, New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts will show you precise dating tips to help you rock your first date.

Your first date with a woman can make the difference between going on a second date and never seeing her again. A first date is similar to an audition for your potential life partner, and this is why our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts know it’s very important to be consistent.

The first date can decide everything about the fate of your love life. What you present is what your date will expect from you. This is why it’s very important not to set too high of expectations; otherwise, you could damage your potential relationship.

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How to Have a Successful 1st Date with Women

Spending a lot of cash on your first date might provide an over the top experience and romantic night, but is it really worth it? You might just be wasting money and efforts on a woman who will never want to see you again, or maybe you’ll be wooing the woman of your dreams and sealing the deal on a good relationship, but if it’s hurting your bank account, is it really worth it to go to the extremes to impress a woman you don’t know you’ll ever see again?

The main point of your first date is to make it a good one by incorporating interesting conversation and having fun. You have to make a good impression no matter what type of date it is or how much money you spend, but the key to a successful first date is to be original. So what can you do to have a successful first date? Let us help you boost your chances of scoring a second date with this attractive woman.

You Must Be Original

Cookie cutter dates will not be effective; after all, you want to stand out from other men she’s been out with. You must be able to carry on a conversation with her in order to have a good time and make a connection, all while relaxing in a good atmosphere you both feel comfortable.

1st Date Ideas That Will Have Her Wanting a 2nd Date with You

It can be hard to arrange something out of the blue, especially if you don’t know her too well. You can’t just come up with a great date idea out of nowhere, right? Don’t worry, our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts will show you how to eliminate the first date stress and enrich your experience together. Our matchmakers will provide some first date suggestions that will help you knock her socks off—and we’ll show you why!

1. A Music Show

This one can be tricky but very effective if done right. You need to pick an artist that you know she likes or choose a band she is into. Almost everyone has a favorite band, so it’s your job to find out what gets her going.

Why Is This a Good Idea?

There is something intimate about going to a music show, especially a jazz one. The whole feel of the experience will connect both of you and allow for a fun and romantic night.

2. A Romantic Restaurant (Near Water)

Since that local steakhouse is played out, why not take things up a notch and go to a quiet café near a river, lake, or by the beach?

Why Is This a Good Idea?

The ambience of this place will be very romantic. It also gives you an opportunity to walk down near the water after the date. And guess what? That’s what almost every woman wishes for on a first date—a great connection continuing on for a romantic stroll under the stars.

3. Get the Adrenaline Flowing

We know dating like the back of our hands, and we can tell you nothing beats an adrenaline rush like going to an amusement park. Not feeling the amusement park, then you can opt for paintball, laser tag, or go-cart racing as well.

Why Is This a Good Idea?

It’s been said that couples will develop an attraction for each other when adrenaline is involved. It is also more fun than just going for a walk in the park, wouldn’t you say? It’s certainly more memorable.

4. Bring Culture into the Mix

Art galleries can be great, but they can also boring if neither of you are into them. Still, there are other things you can do to bring arts and culture into the mix. How about joining a class together?

Why Is This a Good Idea?

Classes are great for new daters. The two of you will be learning something new together and forced to work together as a team. This will create a bond and help you figure out how compatible you really are.

5. Make Your Own Food

The two of you can sign up for a cooking class together and create something fun and delicious. If you’re really feeling gutsy, choose a class that is out of the ordinary and teaches you a different type of cuisine to really spice things up.

Why Is This a Good Idea?

Cooking classes are original, cute, and a great learning experience for the two of you. Our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts advise you to choose a class that is not too difficult so you don’t end up with a failed experiment. There are many places you can go to, and you have many options to choose from. Don’t be afraid to make it something out of the ordinary and memorable.

Things to Keep in Mind When Going on a 1st Date

Even if you pull off these date ideas perfectly, you’re still going to have to be on your best game. And here is how you do it:

1. Look the Part

We can’t stress this enough—shower, shave, and groom any facial hair. Repeat this for every date you go on—no excuses.

2. Always Smile

You have already overcome the hurdle of asking her out, and that means you have enough confidence to smile and laugh when you’re out with her.

3. Communicate Well

Your job on the first date is to learn as much as you can about her. Ask her open-ended questions, share what’s on your mind, and find out how compatible you will be in a relationship.

4. Make Her Laugh

You don’t have to be a comedian, but you must be fun. Share funny stories that happened to you or friends to lighten the mood.

5. Share Personal Things

You don’t have to disclose your whole life story; however, you can tell her about your family background, friends, or things about your life. It doesn’t have to be a life changing experience, just something that is meaningful to you.

When planning your first date, our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts want you to remember that your main goal is to leave a lasting and good impression on her. It doesn’t have to be the most expensive event in your life, but you do need to be consistent in your affection and appreciation. Once she knows she can open up and have a good time with you, she is most likely going to agree to go out with you again.

For more dating and relationship advice from our expert matchmakers, be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter!

 

New Jersey Singles Dating Service Teaches You How to Be Irresistible

Every woman wants to be the one who makes men go crazy. But you don’t have to be the most attractive woman in the room or have special talents to be the most irresistible woman out there. Being irresistible in the eyes of a man requires a few techniques you need to master. And today, New Jersey Singles matchmakers will teach you everything you need to know.

There are many people who will say using these techniques is a little manipulative and a bit dishonest, but the truth is, being irresistible is all about not being an open book. If it makes you dishonest, then so be it, but if you lay all your cards on the table too soon, you won’t be irresistible. With that being said, let’s get to it. Follow our New Jersey Singles matchmaking advice and you’ll have men telling their friends that they just met the woman of their dreams.

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Don’t Be Too Present

This is one of the biggest mistakes single women make when they begin dating. Remember that he will not be able to miss you if you’re always going to be around. Yes, it is hard because right now the two of you are just starting to date and you want to be everywhere he’s at, and he wants to be around you just as much as you do. But here at New Jersey Singles, we encourage you to resist that urge. One of the most important elements of dating is having mystery. The dynamics of lunging is what keeps men wanting more.

There is another important reason you need to be absent once in a while. Feeling suffocated by a partner, especially early on in a relationship, is a huge turn off for men. Our professional matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles Dating Service will show you a few simple techniques to become less present and drive him crazy, in a good way of course.

How to Become Less Present When Texting with Him

Let’s face it, texting is one of the essential methods of communication between two people who are starting to date. Learning how to become less present while texting is going to help you out on your dating quest.
Tip #1: Don’t Be the Last Person to Text

Trust us on this one. Every time you’re in a texting conversation with a man, make sure he is the last one to send a text. When he sends you a text, he’ll be waiting for your response, even if it’s a simple “okay” or “bye.” If you don’t have to respond to his last text, don’t. This will cause him to wait by his phone wondering when your text message is going to come in.

Tip #2: Always Text Slower Than Him

Nowadays, people reply to each other immediately via text message; it’s sort of like playing ping pong. Keep an idea of how long it takes him to respond to your text messages and don’t text him quicker than he responds to you. This may sound childish, but trust us, it works. Want to know why? Well, it’s a huge turn off for him because if you text him the second he messages you, it means you have nothing going on, which is very unattractive to men.
You need to make him think you’re busy and have a life of your own. Even if you are just sitting at home petting your cat, don’t respond as soon as your cell phone lights up. Take your time, at least give it a few minutes before lunging at your phone to text back.

Tip #3: Wait for Him to Text First

So the two of you talked about going on a date on Friday night, but it’s already Thursday and the last time you heard from him was Monday when he sent you a funny picture about how he hates Monday mornings. You are just about to send him a text message to confirm the dinner plans… But after you write the message out, you pause and hold back on hitting send. Good thing you did, because he texts you forty minutes later.

While you were about to send him a text message, your guy was at home showering, maybe hitting the gym, or maybe he had written a message too and like you, also decided not to send it, waiting to see if you would message first.
You tell yourself that the reason you were about to text him was because you wanted to confirm your plans or that you wanted to make sure your night was booked because your work friend was asking you to go out. But you know that’s not the real reason. The reason you were about to text him is because you wanted to hear from him.

There might be times when you really want to send him a text message, but you should never come off as needy or desperate. Make him wonder what you’re doing, make him miss you, and make him think about how much he wants to spend time with you.

Get a Life… This Is Something Important

The next important thing to do is to get a life, preferably to decline invitations because you already have plans of your own. But if you have never declined an invitation from a man, it might be time to pretend you’re busy or make genuine plans with your girlfriends.

Don’t be rude or cancel plans at the last minute, but if you have plans before he asks you out, this will serve as a reminder that you have a life of your own. And guess what that is for men? Very attractive!

Be Mysterious

There might be times when you are dating a man and you feel like you can let loose and say and do whatever you want. You feel like you can talk to him about everything, killing the mystery. Not only should he be wondering where you’re at or what you’re doing, but he should also be wondering more about you. Allow him to wonder what you do in your spare time and what are you thinking inside.

A little bit of mystery is very exciting in the dating world, and you need to have it.

Remember not to always be present, because if you are always present, then he’s going to get bored of you quickly. The key of having men find you irresistible is to have a little mystery. Mystery is the key ingredient here.
If you’re struggling to find a happy and satisfying relationship on your own, contact our New Jersey Singles
matchmakers today to set up a consultation and find out how we can help you meet Mr. Right.

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NEW JERSEY SINGLES Complaints and Reviews on the Biggest Relationship Mistakes

New Jersey Singles is a trusted matchmaking and dating agency in New Jersey with over two decades of experience helping busy professionals date without the lies, games, and disappointments experienced with conventional ways of dating. Today, their professional matchmaking team is here to put an end to dating and relationship mistakes many singles make, so get ready to listen & learn if you want to find love!

They say that women are from Venus and men are from mars, so it’s no surprise that there are many problems when it comes to coexisting together. The matchmakers from New Jersey Singles Dating Service know there are some key behavioral traits you need to avoid if you want your relationship to survive. Today, the professional matchmakers will review the top complaints and relationships mistakes people make in the dating world. Listen up, so you can avoid making these mistakes in your romantic life.

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Relationship Mistake #1- Hoping for a Fairy-Tale

A very common mistake people make in their relationships is treating things like a fairy-tale and flying off the handle when things don’t go as planned. Everyone grew up believing that relationships were all about the perfect man or the perfect woman and, of course, the whole Hollywood love and rescue story thanks to the movie Cinderella, but real life is far from it.

Every relationship is bound to face many problems along the way, and that is to be expected. Expecting a prince in a horse and carriage or a Cinderella-like woman might sound great on paper, but you will be disappointed when things don’t go as planned. Here at New Jersey Singles, we end these kind of complaints by helping our clients reevaluate and adjust their dating and relationship expectations.

Relationship Mistake #2- Cheating

When it comes to the biggest relationship mistake, cheating takes the cake. Once that dirty deed has been done, the relationship will never be the same. If there was cheating in your relationship and you were the victim, you will resent your partner, which is unhealthy for a long term relationship. Cheating isn’t pleasant, and it’s certainly not an ingredient for a happy and healthy relationship. If you’re not happy in your relationship, end it and move on.

Relationship Mistake #3- Not Having Your Own Life

Your relationship should enhance your life, not be the only thing in it. You shouldn’t feel like there is nothing left to do outside of your relationship. One of the most common indicators you don’t have your own life outside of your relationship is if your partner dictates your plans, you don’t get to see your friends and family, or you don’t have your own goals in life. While it’s important to put your relationship on the front burner, you also need to have your own things going on. In other words, you need to have your own life.

Relationship Mistake #4- Snooping Around

Thinking about going through your partner’s cell phone or craving a sneak peek at their Facebook messages? Stop right there! This is by far one of the biggest relationship mistakes that could truly ruin your relationship. Anyone who goes through their partner’s private messages, cell phone, or emails is making their partner feel smothered and as though they cannot be trusted. People who snoop also have a problem of reading in between the lines and blowing things out of proportion. If you feel like you constantly need to check up on your partner’s business, your relationship is headed south. And if you are the one being snooped on, then you need to sit down and talk to your partner about their trust issues.

Relationship Mistake #5- Trying to Change Them

When you first met your partner you were attracted to them because of their personality. Maybe they were laidback and relaxed, which you loved, but now you can’t get them off the sofa to clean up the dishes or take out the trash. It’s common to start resenting the things that first attracted you to your partner as the relationship matures, but either you need to live with it or put an end to your relationship. If not, what’s going to happen is that you’re always going to be nagging them, which is going to make them resent you or push you away. While it might work to have a talk with them, it is up to them to change, not you.

Relationship Mistake #6- Comparing Yourself to Their Ex

Yes, your partner had an ex. Yes, they were intimate in the past. What you must understand is that there is nothing you can do about it now. They promised their love to each other many times, they probably had a good time and were happy together, and you can stew over that for however long you want, but nothing is going to change it. No amount of snide comments or smart remarks are going to change the fact that they had an ex before you. Here at New Jersey Singles, we know one of the worst relationship mistakes you can make is constantly comparing yourself to their ex. Their ex is out of the picture, you are the one in the picture now.

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Relationship Mistake #7- Comparing Them to Your Ex

Just like your partner’s ex has nothing to do with you, your ex shouldn’t have anything to do with them. It is unfair to your partner to secretly compare them to your ex, especially if you’re still harboring some secret feelings towards them. You know how insulting it feels when someone compares you to someone they dated before, so there is no reason for doing the same to them.

Relationship Mistake #8- Poor Communication

One of the biggest dating complaints is poor communication. You need to speak the truth and in an appropriate manner. Many people make the mistake of avoiding an argument and letting it stew instead of solving it. You need to be able to talk to your partner about everything without holding back because this is how relationships succeed.

Relationship Mistake #9- Being Too Clingy

Everyone needs their own personal space. If you love your partner, then you should be able to trust them and give them their own space. You never want to intrude every second of their life. After all, just because you are in a relationship, it doesn’t give you the right to take over their life. Don’t make your partner feel suffocated or make them regret their decision of being in a relationship with you.

Relationship Mistake #10- Extreme Jealousy

Happy relationships should never have the element of jealousy. You love your partner, so you’re not supposed to be jealous if they have a better job than you or if they have more friends than you do. You are supposed to be the partner that makes them better in life, not the one who makes everything out to be a competition. Your partner will do everything in their power to make you a better person and you should do the same.
If you’re currently single and looking for your Mr. or Mrs. Right, contact our matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles Dating Service and let us help you on your search!