Archive for July 2015

New Jersey Singles Matchmakers | Why Timing Is So Important for Dating

It’s true that everything happens for a reason. When good things happen to us, we always say things like, “It was meant to happen. It was our time.” But when bad things happen, we say things like, “It’s not meant to be. It was not our time.” If there is one thing those two things have in common, it’s timing. And when it comes to finding love, our New Jersey Singles matchmakers know timing is essential.

Our relationships work on their own clock and go at their own speed. But how can you know that the timing is right for what you have going on right now?

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How to Know the Timing Is Right

There is no magic clock that can tell you your relationship will be okay or that you’re heading for a breakup. All you can do is rely on some of the following indicators to guide you along the way.

  1. You Are Ready

Just because you think you’re ready doesn’t mean you’re ready. Emotions have a way of playing around and blinding us from what’s really happening. For instance, you might notice that all your friends are getting married and having children and you may think to yourself that you’re ready to do the same.

If you feel that way, we encourage you to take a step back and analyze yourself to figure out if, in fact, you are ready. Are you prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship? Are you financially capable of having one? Are you ready to handle the problems that come along with one? Are you ready to commit yourself to someone else? If you’re ready for a relationship but not having any luck on your own, contact our New Jersey Singles matchmakers and let us help you find the partner you deserve.

  1. You Maturity Levels

Let’s take a trip down memory lane and review your first partner. Now, try to see the difference between them and the people you go for now. Big difference, right?

As we grow and become mature, our needs change, especially in regards to relationships. Our maturity levels have a lot to do with what we want from a relationship. With that being said, it can be frustrating when you meet a person who does not have the same maturity level as you or that does not have the same relationship expectations as you.

*Here at New Jersey Singles, all of our clients are mature singles who are searching out that special someone to share life with.

  1. Your Life Goals

Your goals in life also make a relationship clock work. If you have set goals for yourself and you want to accomplish them before settling down, it is important to be aware of them and remember how important they are to you.

You must put yourself first, no matter how much you like someone. Remember that your goal is to obtain your life goals, so it is important to be with a partner who understands that and encourages you to continue towards accomplishing them.

  1. Your Experiences

All the past experiences and relationships you’ve had have shaped you into the person you are today. These experiences have also helped you understand what’s important to you and helped you figure out the type of person you want to be in a long term relationship with.

If you have never experienced bad things in regards to dating and relationships, then how can you know when you are experiencing a good thing? It will probably go unnoticed.

  1. Your Circumstances

Everything that happens in our lives shapes us and just because you’ve had some bad dating experiences doesn’t mean they should define you. Okay, so maybe you never thought about dating because you’ve always had to work to support yourself, or maybe you had to take care of a sick family member and put dating and relationships aside.

Only when you’re finally ready to date and put yourself out there will you understand what you want in a relationship. If the timing is not right yet, then you must wait for the timing to be perfect.

  1. Love Is Different Than Infatuation

Figuring out the difference between love and lust is very important when it comes to dating and relationships. When you are fresh in the dating scene you can easily confuse love with lust and mistake loving someone when in reality, you are just feeling infatuated with them.

Only time will help you realize the huge difference between the two of them. Yes, it will be a tough lesson for you to learn, but you must learn it on your own.

  1. Your Career

This one is a big one. But we must admit that careers play a huge part when it comes to dating. It takes time to move up the career ladder and get settled. When you are at a point where you’re just starting out and figuring out what path to take, balancing a new relationship with work can be problematic.

  1. Health Problems

Sometimes our bodies don’t comply with what we want them to do. There are some health problems that can get in your way—and in some cases, get in the way of your dating life. Just imagine if you meet someone you see yourself getting married to and realize they’re not on the same page as you in regards to taking care of a sick partner.

If you get sick once you’ve been together for a while, then the relationship might have a shot, but if you find out you have a serious illness during the early stages of dating, not everyone will be willing to put in the efforts to stay in the relationship.

Timing can either be on your side or be your worst enemy when it comes to dating and relationships. Let’s hope it’s on your side so we can help you find the partner you deserve. If you think the timing is right but are not having luck finding a compatible partner, contact our New Jersey Singles matchmakers today at 1 (888) 417-0020 and let us help you find them.

 

 

 

 

Single Men in New Jersey – Learn to Flirt without Scaring Her Away!

Single men in New Jersey, if you’re striking out with the ladies, then you need to listen up! There is no quick way to become smooth and charming overnight. You could read all the blogs in the world and you’d still be in the dark if you are not willing to read cues and add a little common sense to your technique. When it comes to learning flirting techniques, reading her cues and common sense are key ingredients; otherwise, you’ll do it wrong, every single time.

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Flirting 101

Flirting is not supposed to be serious—and it certainly shouldn’t be over the top. Guys, pay attention if you want to get it right. Sit back and let New Jersey Singles dating experts will show you how to properly flirt with women without coming on too strong or scaring them away.

  1. The Right Place & Time

If the mood and signs are right, you can flirt just about anywhere and anytime. However, there are times when flirting is inappropriate and uncalled for. A prime example of this would be at a funeral, and believe it or not, some people do this.

Another less extreme but inappropriate time to flirt with a woman is when no other people are around. Trust us, when no one else is around, she is not going to want to be receptive to your approach. It doesn’t matter how charming you are because women don’t like to be approached when they’re alone. If you approach her in an alleyway, parking garage, or something of that manner, you can guarantee she’s going to be taken back and turn you down. And this why the place and time have to be right if you want to be successful with women.

  1. The Signals Must Be There

There’s an art behind trying to interpret a woman’s signals. But there are a few tried and tested ways to establish whether or not you can approach her.

  • Positive signals she gives: If she turns her body towards you, that’s a positive signal.  If her feet and body overall are facing you, that’s a welcoming gesture.  If she is batting her eyes, subtly licking her lips, or flipping her hair, those are also positive signals.
  • Negative signals she gives: If she turns away from you or is avoiding eye contact, then she is not receptive to your flirting.  If she puts her headphones or sunglasses on, those are also signals for you to go your way.
  1. Never Make Assumptions

Body language and speech are the most telling signs whether or not she is into you. Remember that just because a woman dresses in a seductive way doesn’t mean she’s dressing to pick up men. Wearing a short skirt or red lipstick is a fashion trend, not a welcome sign for you. Assuming that she is out to pick up men based on the type of dress or color lipstick she’s wearing will immediately get you turned down.

  1. Eye Contact

This is the eye contact you establish. Eye contact is a good thing; it shows that you are confident and that you have character. However, if you lock eyes with her without taking a break, it might make you look creepy. Try to look at her eyes and quickly look away. Show her that you notice her but are not a creep or a pervert. A glance or two here or there will do the job and are far less creepy than a stare.

  1. Good Opening Line

Remember that those premeditated pickup lines you read online will never work. Our New Jersey Singles dating experts want you to ditch those lines you heard and simply introduce yourself instead. A simple hello and introduction will take you much further than any corny pickup line.

  1. Always Be Natural

Remember that rehearsed moves or cheesy one liners will never work with women. We don’t live in that era anymore—women don’t put up with that type of behavior. Be your true self and let your personality do the talking. And don’t try to adopt someone else’s persona because it will show. Again, smile and be yourself.

  1. Talk Appropriately

If you manage to get into a conversation with her, make sure you keep the content appropriate. A lot of single men in New Jersey spoil their chances by bringing up sexual innuendos—don’t go down that road. Any type of sexual conversation will immediately put you in the creeper department. Our New Jersey Singles dating experts want you to keep the conversation polite and friendly, without any sexual innuendos.

  1. Don’t Be Pushy

Remember that you are not a linebacker and you shouldn’t act like one. One of the creepiest things a man can do with a woman is get to close or come on too strong. Whether it’s by getting to close when talking or actually reaching at her, you must not overstep your boundaries. Physical contact should be avoided at all costs; after all, you don’t know her yet. If you come on too strong, you’re going to destroy any chance you might have had with her.

  1. Listen Carefully

Your eyes are your best tool when it comes to flirting with women. Try to listen to everything she says, not just what she says but the way she says it. Take cues from the conversation and figure out where she wants the conversation to go. If she looks like she’s getting bored, try switching up the topic to see if you can gain her attention back. Failure to listen to her and pay attention to her body language will leave you out of luck every time.

  1. Move On

If, despite all you’ve done, she doesn’t seem interested in you, then you have to take it as your cue to move on. You don’t want to be so persistent that it makes you look like a stalker. There are plenty of fun and attractive single women in New Jersey who would love to meet you. Let this one be and move onto the next. Believe us, there are plenty of great catches in the sea.

Remember, there is a thin line between flirting and being sleazy. Follow the helpful advice from our New Jersey Singles dating experts and you’ll learn to master the flirting game in no time.

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Colts Neck Matchmakers – 10 Simple Ways to Make Your Man Feel Loved

As a woman, you most likely enjoy being shown affection and cuddled by your boyfriend, so you might think it’s a little weird that men prefer to be respected rather than loved. This isn’t to say your boyfriend doesn’t want you to love him; it simply means he wants to be treated with respect. For men, showing respect is a sign of love.

Some men feel loved when they’re given gifts, while others prefer to have meaningful actions. But if there is one thing our Colts Neck matchmakers know, it’s that men crave respect and honesty. Are you giving your man the respect and honesty he desires?

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New Jersey Singles Matchmakers Reveal the Top 10 Things Men Love to Hear

If you feel like you have no clue what to say to your man to make him feel special anymore, our Colts Neck matchmakers have the top things to really put a smile on his face.

  1. Thank You

As simple as this phrase might seem, it means you are recognizing him for doing something. If he made you a nice meal, gave you his coat, took you out to eat, or even watched a movie with you (even though he hated it), then you need to say thank you. He loves you, and even though he’s not saying it, he’s showing you his love by doing things he knows you’ll appreciate. Be nice and give him a thank you because he obviously deserves it.

  1. I’m So Proud of You

Who doesn’t love hearing this phrase? When you tell him you’re proud, it means he has met your expectations, which is a good thing. It means he has done something for you or the family and you are proud of him for it. This phrase validates his hard work and shows that you respect and love him, but most importantly, it shows that you are proud to have him as your partner.

  1. I Love You So Much

This one goes without an explanation; after all, men and women both enjoy hearing these words. But at the same time, you don’t want to overuse these words and play out their meaning.

  1. I Believe You Can Do It

Every man loves hearing that his woman believes in him. Your man wants to know that you have faith in his ability to be successful and accomplish important things in life. Men are known for being goal-oriented, so the best way you can show him you love him is by supporting him and encouraging to accomplish the things he wants to do.

  1. I’ll Let You Handle It

This one works well in certain scenarios. For example, you can say it when he is going to do something for the home, which is something he is most likely better at than you. But never say this sarcastically; this is not something you want to say when you know he can’t do it properly. We encourage you use this one to show him you’re letting him take over because you trust in him and his abilities.

  1. I Trust You

Men work hard for their girlfriends and go out of their way to impress them. And even though you have been with your man for many months, or even years, trust still plays a huge part in your relationship. You need to trust that he can make the right choices, handle situations properly, and solve any problem that comes up. When he feels you can trust him, he will feel secure in the relationship. And trust us, there is no better way to make a man feel great inside than by showing him you trust him and can rely on him.

  1. I’m Happy to Have You as My Partner

Use this phrase in a moment of crisis where he is acting like a hero. It could be something as small as fixing a leaky faucet or fixing your computer from a virus. Your man wants to know that he is always your knight in shining armor and can save you from anything.

  1. You Are So Great at This

Sounds cheesy, we know, but men love hearing this phrase. When he is doing something that requires skill and concentration, let him know he’s great at it. It doesn’t matter if he’s fixing a flat on your car, repainting the kitchen, or making you an Italian meal, let him know he’s got it! Acknowledge his skills in the things he enjoys doing.

  1. Look at Yourself

This is the type of phrase that will truly boost his ego. It could be a compliment on how muscular and toned he has gotten lately or how nicely his work suit fits him. Just like you like receiving compliments, our Colts Neck matchmakers know that men also like hearing they look good, especially when it comes from their partners.

  1. Any Sound of Pleasure

Okay, so this isn’t a phrase, but it’s still very important. No words will be needed for this one. Never hesitate to let him hear your sounds of approval because he wants to know that you are happy. Showing him how good he makes you feel is something that will make him feel accomplished and special.

Men are simpler than people make them out to be. Men enjoy being respected because that’s how they feel loved. You can use cute text messages and flirting, but nothing captivates a man more than when their girlfriend recognizes their hard work and efforts. Men are programed to be the caretakers in the relationship and we know they take a lot of pride in that role. Showing him you trust him and recognizing his hard work and skills will certainly improve your relationship and make him feel loved.

A simple phrase of acknowledgement or showing your trust in him will let you know you love him, respect him, and admire him—and that’s all he needs to know to be happy. Remember, your actions AND words both play an important role in your relationship.

Saddle Brook Matchmakers – 10 Telltale Signs You’re in a Rebound Relationship

CAUTION: If you have moved too fast since your past relationship, or you keep thinking about your ex, then you could be involved in a rebound relationship!

Are you in a rebound relationship? Find out with our Saddle Brook matchmakers today as we demonstrate the telltale signs of the dreaded rebound.

There have been cases of rebound relationships turning into something worthwhile, but in our 26 plus years of experience in the matchmaking and dating industry, we know that most rebound relationships come crashing down. With that being said, it is crucial to identify where you’re at so you can be honest with yourself and your new partner. Today, our Saddle Brook matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles Dating Service will show you the top ten signs you’re in a rebound relationship.

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1. You’re Always Trying to Run into Them

Have you ever “accidentally” run into your ex, whether it was their favorite restaurant, bar, or even their workplace? No matter how much you tell yourself that it was accidental, you know in your mind you tried to bump into them. And the worst thing about it is that you planned to run into them with your new partner.

Maybe you thought you could make them jealous, causing them to miss you in the process. While most of us have felt that urge to make our ex jealous, if that is your only reason to be in a new relationship, then you are definitely involved in a rebound relationship.

2. Everything Has Become a Competition

If you think you need to move on faster than your ex, and you feel you need to find someone now, then you are in a rebound relationship. Yes, we know it’s difficult to deal with the fact that your ex has found a new partner while you are still crying in your room, but you need to remember that finding love isn’t a competition. You need to stop focusing on what your ex is doing and start focusing on yourself. Always move at your own speed.

3. You Want Your Ego Boosted

Breakups are sure to hit your ego, and your self-esteem, particularly if your partner was the one who ended things. But just because your ego is bruised doesn’t mean you need to start dating. You should not be dating just to boost your ego.

If you have the smallest doubt that you are rushing into a relationship to help your self-esteem, it might be time to take yourself out of the dating scene and work on your confidence first.

4. They Don’t Match Your Checklist

While it’s okay, and sometimes even beneficial, to date outside the box, if you find yourself dating someone who has nothing to offer you in terms of character traits, then you are definitely not dating for the right reasons.

If you have adopted the idea that anything is better than nothing, then our Saddle Brook matchmakers know you are definitely in a rebound relationship. Once you take the opinion that anything will do, you’re only dating for a rebound.

5. They Are Similar to Your Ex

On the other hand, maybe the new person you started dating is a mirror image of your ex. If you have started dismissing people who are not similar to your ex, and have fallen for someone who is just like them, then you are definitely in a rebound relationship.

Rather than trying to find an identical replica, which clearly did not work out the first time around, you need to take time in getting to know someone instead of looking for similarities to your ex.

6. You’re Moving Slow & Fast

While there aren’t any set rules of dating or relationships and how quickly they should move along, if you find yourself talking about getting a place together and having children after only two weeks or so of dating, then you are definitely in a rebound relationship.

Trying to skip over several stages in a relationship is a clear sign you’re not ready to move on. At the same time, retaining emotional distance is also a common indicator of a rebound relationship.

7. Excessive Sharing

When you are starting to date someone new, it’s natural to want to share things with them. However, if you find yourself oversharing details, especially in regards to your ex, our Saddle Brook matchmakers know it could be a sign you’re not completely over them.

While, in your mind, you think you’re just being honest with your new partner, for them, it’s just raising a huge red flag that you’re still hung up on your ex and are using them to get over the breakup.

8. You’re Making Comparisons

While you might have ceased all contact with your ex, if you find yourself mentally comparing your new love interest with your ex, then that is another sign you are not over them.

While it’s advisable to know the ways your new relationship is better than your old one, you need to keep in mind that every relationship is different and you can’t be comparing all the time.

9. You Are Not Completely Healed

How did you feel before you entered your new relationship? If you can honestly answer this question by saying that you were happy and emotionally stable, then by all means continue on with your new relationship. However, if the answer is that you were not ready and were not completely healed, then you are involved in a rebound relationship.

You are only using this relationship to hide any negative emotions from your previous one.

10. You Feel Unhappy by Yourself

If you constantly feel down when you are by yourself or are always feeling confused, then it might be a sign that you have not handled your emotions from your previous relationship. Many people make the bad mistake of rushing into new relationships just so they can distract themselves from negative feelings of their previous one. You need to remember that dating someone new is only a temporary aid and that those feelings you feel are always going to resurface unless dealt with properly.

If you’re completely healed and ready to welcome love into your life again, contact our expert matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles and let us help you find it! With our dating coaching and support, you’ll finally find the everlasting relationship you’ve been after!