Archive for May 2015

New Jersey Singles Dating Experts Review 14 Signs Your Compatible

Are you looking for a long term relationship? Then, you must know how important compatibility is. New Jersey Singles dating and relationship experts review the top signs to help you know if you and your new love interest are truly compatible.

No two people are the perfect match. And it is completely normal for you and your partner to have differences, but that doesn’t mean you and your partner aren’t compatible for a long term relationship. There are also a number of very important factors which determine the longevity of your relationship.

Today, our dating and relationship experts from New Jersey Singles will review the signs you and your partner are compatible.

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1. You Don’t Question Their Love for You

You know you love your partner, and you know they love you in return. There is absolutely no doubt in your mind about their love. You feel secure and happy in your relationship, and even if you are a worrier by nature, you never question your relationship because you know their love for you is true.

2. You Know Things No One Else Knows

From your embarrassing high school stories to very personal details about your life, sharing secrets with your partner can show a high level of compatibility. Honesty is very important to your relationship, and wanting to share your deepest secrets with your partner shows that you are very invested in your relationship.

3. You Don’t Want to Change Them

You love and respect your partner for who they are and never wish them to be someone else. Sure, they might snore at night or wear a goofy dress you don’t like, but you know you love them and can handle these things. If you are always looking to change your partner’s personalities or looks, it means you’re not compatible with each other.

4. You Enjoy the Time Apart

When you start a new relationship, it can be hard to pull yourself away from your partner. If you and your partner hope to be in a long term relationship, it is very important that the two of you spend time apart from each other. During this time, you need to see friends and family members and pursue hobbies and interests of your own. If you love running but your partner hates it, take time to do the things you like and let your partner do what they enjoy.

5. You Share Common Interest

While our New Jersey Singles dating experts know it’s important to pursue your own hobbies and interests, compatible partners also share a lot of things in common. Having common grounds helps for the longevity of the relationship. It can be things like supporting the same football team, cooking together, or even watching the same show together.

6. You Know How to Fight

You know how to fight and you aren’t afraid of doing it. If you tell your partner you disagree with them, they should listen to you and pay close attention. If they don’t agree, that’s okay because disagreements do happen. Just because two partners don’t agree on something doesn’t mean they don’t care for each other.

7. You’re willing to Fix Any Problems

Major problems can often creep up in relationships unexpectedly. Things such as money, religion, or other firm beliefs can be solved if the two people are compatible and willing to make compromises. It is important to work together as a team to come up with a decision that makes both partners happy.

8. Your Partner Makes You a Better Person

You have probably already heard this one before, but we’ll say it again: Compatible partners push each other to be better. Whether you’re learning a new language, learning to cook a new cuisine, or pursuing a promotion at work, your partner should be there to support you and encourage you and vice versa.

9. You Can’t Imagine without Them

While you don’t have to pick out baby names yet, it is always helpful to be on the same page as your partner when it comes to heavy issues like the future. Having different goals can create problems. Your partner could enjoy traveling the world while you might want to settle down and raise a family. But if your partner doesn’t want to talk about the future, it can create problems in the relationship. Make sure you’re both heading in the same direction before investing too much time and having your heart broken.

10. You Can Be Your True Self around Them

If you and your partner are compatible, you can be the person you are in front of them without being afraid. Whether you’re feeling happy, irritated, or angry, you should be able to comfortably express how you feel without worrying about them judging you.

11. You’re into Each Other

While sex doesn’t mean the relationship is going to be successful long term, it is still important to be physically into each other. From holding hands to kissing, compatible couples show their affection for each other regularly. In other words, there should be a spark.

12. You Get Along with Each Other’s Families

If you genuinely love your partner, you will also try to get along with their family. Being in love with your partner doesn’t mean you will automatically love their family; however, you do need to get along with them. Most people come with a family, and if your partner is going to be part of your life, they will also be a part of it.

13. You Keep Things Fresh

Everyone ages every day but that doesn’t mean your relationship should age as well. We know that work, children, and other responsibilities can get in the middle of life and relationships, but beware of how much you let it. Of course these responsibilities are important to life and shouldn’t be neglected, but compatible couples know how to set time apart for each other to keep the relationship fresh.

14. You Put in Efforts

Whether you and your partner have been dating for a few months or many years, our New Jersey Singles dating experts know it is important to put in efforts. From sending them a midday text telling them you miss them to giving them a kiss at the end of the night, compatible partners always put in work. After being together for a while, it can feel like no efforts are needed; however, that can lead to an unhealthy relationship. Compatible partners always go the extra to show each other that they do still care.

If you’re confident you have found your compatible partner, congrats to you because we know it’s not easy to do! If you’re struggling to meet the right partners on your own, contact our expert matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles Dating Service and let us help you find the one.

New Jersey Singles: Are You Ready to Date after Your Divorce?

Are you unsure about whether or not you’re ready to date again? Find out as the professional matchmakers from New Jersey Singles Dating Service review the top six signs you’re not ready to come back to dating just yet.

Divorced and thinking about reentering the dating world again? Then this undoubtedly means that you have already gotten over your divorce and the things that went wrong in your marriage. You have learned lessons and are now ready to take on the New Jersey dating scene again. Or, it could mean you’re only looking for a quick distraction in order to keep your head busy.

So how can you tell if you’re ready to reenter the dating scene again? Our New Jersey Singles matchmakers know this can be challenging for many singles. We don’t want you to end up with a broken heart, which is why today, our dating and relationship experts will review the signs you’re not ready to reenter just yet.

1. You Want to Date to Prove Your Ex Wrong

If your only motivation is to get your ex fired up or to get a reaction from them, then you’re not ready to date again. Not only are you wasting your time, but you will also be setting yourself up for bad karma—bad dating karma. Remember, when you date, there are two people involved. And we’re not referring back to your ex here, we’re referring to the new person you’ll be dating.

Dating someone new to get at your ex is unfair to your new partner. If your only goal for coming back to dating is to make your ex jealous, angry, or sad, then you are still not over them. Please, save everyone the heartache and wait until you are completely over your divorce so you can come back to dating again.

2. Your Divorce Is Your Only Topic of Conversation

Only wanting to talk about your divorce is a clear sign that you’re not over your marriage just yet. When you are 100% ready to date again, believe us that the divorce topic will be the last thing on your mind. Once the topic of your divorce is gone, then you know you’re ready.

There will be a time to let your new love interest know about your past relationship, but the first date is not the time. Resist the urge to share things about your ex or your divorce in general. Rather than letting your divorce dominate the entire conversation on your date, learn new topics of conversation so you can keep the date conversation flowing naturally.

3. You’re Always Comparing Them to Your Ex

Your ex was overweight and now you date muscle guys. Your ex was a party girl and now you want to date women who frequent church. It is okay to learn from previous relationships and make your future decisions accordingly. If your ex was an alcohol, then by all means, stay away from people who have binge drinking problems. But going against everyone who is similar to your ex, even avoiding the opposite sex because they have the same hair color, shows that you are still hung up on your ex.

When you start making comparisons between your new dates and your ex, you’re going to make bad judgments. Again, our New Jersey Singles want you to know that you must be completely over your ex in order to go back to the dating world again.

4. You’re Still Sad or Angry about the Divorce

A healthy relationship requires two people to be healthy themselves. If you are still angry, sad, or resentful about your divorce, or your ex, then you are not 100% ready to date again.

In order to come back to the dating world, you must have healed and completely gotten over those feelings. Now, we’re not suggesting that you have to get to a point where you like your ex, because that may never happen. We are just suggesting that you be to the point that when you think about your ex, it doesn’t make you sad or angry. You need to reach a point where you don’t feel a grudge or feel a wound. You should ideally feel indifference.

5. You Talk about Them All the Time

If you have kids with your ex, of course you’re going to have to communicate with them, but if you find yourself always reaching out to them for unnecessary reasons, then something is up. If you are trying to remain friends with your ex, just because, then that might be an indication that you are not emotionally separated from him or her. You need to let go of them; otherwise, you’re just hurting yourself. You need to let go of them as it is one of the most important steps in getting over your divorce and moving on with your dating life.

6. You Haven’t Taken Time

Unless you can see by the date on the calendar that your divorce is several months old, then you won’t be ready to date again. Our New Jersey Singles matchmakers know many people make the mistake of jumping right back into the dating scene again after their divorce. Resist the urge to dive in too soon.

With the end of any relationship, especially a marriage, comes a mourning period. Things will undoubtedly change, and you need to allow yourself to go through the emotions before you can come back to dating. You must give yourself plenty of time to get your single life back in order. Take time to recover from the blows a divorce brings, and make sure your wounds are healed before you date again.

Maybe You Are a Serial Dater

Some people just can’t stand being alone, which is why they jump back into the dating scene to fill the void. If this sounds like you, then you are going to experience troubles in the future. Do you find yourself jumping from relationship to relationship? If so, you could be what we call a serial dater.

Have you gotten over your divorce? Do you think you’re ready to date again? If you’re not sure, call in and set up a matchmaking consultation with one of our dating specialists. We have been helping divorced men and women for over 25 years, and we’ll know if you’re ready to date again.

 

New Jersey Singles Matchmaking Takes on Relationship Myths

Dating and relationships experts from New Jersey Singles Dating Service take a look at the most common relationship myths floating around in the dating world.

Are you a believer of relationship myths? Often times, people believe everything they hear about relationships, which can make their romantic lives very difficult. In our 25 years of experience in the New Jersey dating scene, we know that if people would simply let go of those myths, their relationships would become less stressful and more fulfilling. Today, our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts will show you why you must let go of those relationship myths plaguing the dating world.

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1. Your Relationship Should Be Identical to a Movie

Many people expect their relationship to be like a Hollywood movie, but believing so can leave them feeling stressed, disappointed, and leave them with a broken heart. Don’t look for a relationship that is similar to a Hollywood film. Remember that a relationship is supposed to go through the good and the bad, not just the good like portrayed in films.

2. If There Is Doubt, It Has to Be Wrong

It is completely normally to feel uncertainty about your new partner, especially if you’re looking for a long term relationship. It is also likely that the doubts you feel have a lot to do with your own fears, such as your own fear of commitment rather than your partner’s. You need to remember that just because you feel doubts doesn’t mean you’re unhappy; having doubts are a normal part of dating.

3. True Love Is Unconditional

Many people believe that true love is unconditional, again, just like Hollywood movies portray it to be. But people change during the relationship, and our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts encourage you to realize that is normal and healthy. You are in a relationship with your partner because you love them for the person they are, and it is important to grow together as a couple.

4. Your Relationship Is Your Only Source of Happiness

True love should only come from within yourself. If you are only looking for happiness from someone else, or you don’t feel whole when you’re single, then our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts know you will become an unhealthy dependent, which is never healthy for a relationship.

Take some time to be by yourself and learn to love yourself before you start dating. Relationships are a chance for you to share your happiness with a partner and be with someone because you want them, not because you are afraid of being single.

5. Jealousy = Love

Jealousy is often a sign of insecurity, and feeling insecure in your relationship, especially at the beginning, is okay. Instead of fixating on your jealousy, work on your insecurities and become more confident in yourself and in your relationship.

6. You Change Just Because You Love Them

Compromising is an important part of a happy and healthy relationship, but you should compromise on things for your relationship, not yourself. If you have to change who you are to please your partner, the relationship will never work.

7. Expecting Your Partner to Know All Your Deepest Feelings

Many people expect their partners to automatically understand them and read their feelings, but sometimes, you may not even understand exactly how you’re feeling, so it is unreasonable to expect your partner to know your feelings. Our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts want you to tell your partner how you feel and give them the chance to acknowledge those feelings so there aren’t any confusions or misunderstandings. Expecting your partner to read your mind is unreasonable and unfair.

8. You Should Be Glued Together by the Hip

While it’s a good thing to share interests with your partner, it is also important that you have your own. In a happy relationship, both partners should have their own groups of friends, their own hobbies and interests, and their own careers. Spending all your time with just one person can be emotionally unhealthy and leave you feeling trapped in the process.

9. A Happy Relationship Doesn’t Take Any Work

Our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts know many people make the terrible mistake of thinking a good relationship is effortless and that both individuals should be happy without putting in any efforts.

The truth is, both of you are different people, and even the best relationships out there require a lot of work from both partners. You need to remember that every day will not be a happy one; sometimes, life will get in the way and you are going to have to do things in order to keep your relationship alive. But also remember that the bad days don’t last long and your relationship will soon be back to normal.

10. Your Relationship Will Not Have Any Fights

Many people think that because they have a lot of things in common with their partner that there will not be any fighting. However, we are humans and have different opinions, and if it’s okay to voice those opinions, even if you and your partner disagree.

That doesn’t mean you’re not in love with them, it just means you care enough about them to get through the disagreements.

11. There Should Always Be PDAs

It is easy to believe that your relationship is defined by how much handholding or kissing you do in public, but while many couples engage in PDAs, other couples are not into displaying so much love in public. Just because the honeymoon phase of your relationship has come to an end, doesn’t mean your relationship has. You don’t always have to kiss or hold hands in public; you don’t have to act like a couple in one of those Hollywood movies. Believe us, your relationship will survive without constant PDAs.

12. You Shouldn’t Find Anyone Else Attractive

Our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts know one of the biggest relationship myths is that you shouldn’t find anyone else attractive. Love doesn’t make you blind to other attractive people. Of course you can check out that guy with the abs or that woman with the toned legs; by all means, appreciate the beauty and don’t feel bad about it. You might love your partner and think they’re the best person for you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t look twice at another attractive person.

If you’re looking for a long lasting and meaningful relationship, contact our expert matchmakers today and let us help you find your Mr. or Mrs. Right!

New Jersey Singles Matchmakers Explain Why Some Relationships Don’t Last

Not all relationships make it to the finish line. Find out why as our New Jersey Singles matchmakers review the main culprits behind relationship splits.

Is your relationship making you feel unhappy? If you are always down, it’s likely you are involved in an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes, relationships can turn sour, leaving you wondering what happened and what you should do.

Today, our New Jersey Singles matchmakers will review why some relationships just don’t make it and what you can do to prevent yours from failing.

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1. They Have a Long Relationship Checklist

While it’s important to learn the things you like and dislike in a relationship, a great relationship is usually based in the heart rather than a checklist. Creating a mile long checklist with all the qualities you expect your partner to have can lead you to have too many expectations and will take away the excitement in the relationship. Our New Jersey Singles matchmakers encourage you to let go of your unreasonably long list if you plan on saving your relationship.

2. They Are Too Critical

Honesty is very important in a relationship, but being with a partner who is too critical can bring down your self-esteem and make you feel depressed. Critical behavior includes things such as your partner insulting you about your weight, your appearance, your friends, your style, your job, or even making you feel worthless. Ask yourself, are the comments that come out of their mouth honest or are they saying these things to hurt you? And if you’re the one who is always picking on your partner, are you doing it in an overly critical way?

3. They Don’t Know How to Handle Jealousy

Relationships should be supportive, but sometimes, jealousy can get in the middle of the relationship and destroy it. Some of the main warning signs include: acting irrationally when getting angry, getting jealous when a partner makes new friends or finds a new job, or demanding to know every single little detail. A jealous partner will also get angry when their partner talks to the opposite sex and will accuse them of lying. Our New Jersey Singles matchmakers know jealousy is one of the main reasons many relationships fail.

4. They Don’t Value Honesty

Telling a little white lie here or there won’t completely destroy a relationship, but over time those little lies can add up. On the other hand, dishonesty about important issues shows a lack of respect for your partner. If there is a lot of dishonesty in a relationship, there is bound to be mistrust, anger, and resentment. In a strong relationship, both partners should be able to say yes to the following two questions: Do I trust my partner? Do they trust me?

5. They Blame Each Other for Everything

Blaming a partner for everything is emotional abuse, and often times, the person who is being blamed will even start to believe they’re doing something wrong. They start believing they’re guilty and start thinking they’re not good enough. Our New Jersey Singles matchmakers know it’s very important to take responsibilities for your own actions and to treat your partner the same way you want to be treated.

6. They Are Very Immature

Relationship maturity doesn’t come with age, it comes from both partners growing together, accepting blame, and learning to compromise. Beware of starting a relationship with someone who gets mad over little things. At the beginning of a relationship, most people try their hardest to avoid fighting, so beware of how your partner behaves during tough situations or how they treat others. A lot of times, emotionally immature people are willing to learn to handle situations in a mature manner, but there are others who refuse and stay immature forever.

7. They Want to Control Everything

Being in a relationship with a partner who is controlling can be draining. Trying to please a controlling partner can also be draining since they want you to live up to unreasonable expectations, which you will never fill. Keep an eye for the following signs: They tell you how to dress or act, they always check your phone or social media accounts, they show up at your house uninvited, or they search through your belongings without your authorization.

8. They Don’t Do Anything

Netflix dates and watching TV on the sofa on a rainy day can be great, but the relationship will take a toll if both partners never want to do anything beyond that. Many times relationships fail because one, or both, partners refuse to put in the efforts it takes to be successful. If you want to have a long lasting and happy relationship, be sure to keep things fresh and exciting.

9. There Are Too Many Arguments

It’s one thing to disagree over major things, but if you’re always arguing and disagreeing on minor things and a fight erupts, the relationship is failing. There are bound to be arguments in a relationship, but our New Jersey Singles matchmakers know the good times should outweigh the bad ones. When there are too many arguments in the relationship, it will undoubtedly cause the relationship to fall apart.

10. They Both Want Different Things

Many relationships fail because both partners want different things in life. Maybe you love the idea of traveling the world and exploring new countries while your partner is more into settling down and starting a family. Having the same goals in life is important for a relationship, and if both partner’s goals aren’t aligned, the relationship will undoubtedly fail.

11. They Become Boring

Knowing what to expect in a relationship is not that bad, since it’s human nature to want stability, but when the relationship feels like an everyday routine, things are going to fall apart. You don’t have to have an adventurous relationship in order to make it successful, but both partners must put in work if they want to keep it alive. Once it hits a rut, it’s important to recognize it and do whatever it takes to get out of it.

12. Some Things Just Come to an End

Sometimes, it’s not that anyone did something wrong or that one person is to blame, sometimes the relationship will just run its course. Be thankful for the time you spent together and others lessons you learned from the relationship. It’s sad, but it happens to many people.

If you want to find local singles who are serious about dating and finding a relationship, set up a consultation with one of our expert matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles Dating Service today to get started. We’ll match you with compatible partners who are a good fit for your life.