Archive for September 2014

New Jersey Singles Reviews the Ultimate Breakup Guide

Trusted dating and matchmaking service, New Jersey Singles, reviews 13 do’s & don’ts for breaking up.

Okay, your relationship has now come to an end, something irreparable has happened and you’re ready to part ways; however, before you can officially make that happen, you’ll first have to break things off with him. When it comes to breaking up, there are definitely some do’s & don’ts you must follow; otherwise, you’ll end up complicating things and making a situation that is already bad, worse.

In this blog, our matchmaking team here at New Jersey Singles reviews the right breakup etiquette to follow. Follow these tips and your breakup with go smoother than you ever thought it could.

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1. Be Sure That’s the Best Option

Before you decide to call things off with your boyfriend and put an end to the relationship, you need to be 100% sure that is the path you want to take. Once you have broken things off with him, there is no turning back. You can’t break up today and decide to get back tomorrow, so think about the decision long enough before you decide to go ahead and make that break. Breakups leave no room for regret.

2. Don’t Get into a Rebound Relationship

Once you are single you might be inclined to fill the void by jumping into a rebound relationship. Our New Jersey Singles matchmakers want you to know that if there is one thing you must avoid doing, it’s dating someone else right after your breakup. Rebound relationships are only a temporary cure that will end up doing more harm than good. Instead, you should give yourself plenty of time to heal and move on.

3. Worry about the Details Later On

Okay, so maybe you both have a cat together, the two of you split the bills, or you still have clothes at his house, but while these details are important, when a breakup is brand new, you don’t have to worry about those things right now. After the breakup, once the two of you have calmed down, then you can begin to worry about those things. Here at New Jersey Singles, we recommend you wait until the waters have calmed before working these things out.

4. Don’t Try to Be Friends Right Away

After you have broken things off with him, the last thing you want to do is insist on remaining friends. In fact, while you’re breaking up with him and even right after it, the last words you want to use are “Let’s be friends.” This phrase will only make things worse, and the last thing you need to worry about right now is remaining friends with him. Of course, we’re not saying you can’t be friends with him, but don’t push the issue during this delicate time.

5. Break Up in Person

In the age of social media and smartphones, it might be convenient for you to break up with him using Facebook or a text message, but one of the worst things you can do is break up virtually. A virtual breakup will only make you look like you’re afraid of something, so make sure you arrange to do the breakup in person. Believe us, it will go a lot smoother.

6. Don’t Talk about another Man

Even if by now, before the relationship is completely over, you are confiding in a man, don’t share that information with him. During a breakup, there is no need to compare your ex to a new man who interests you. This will only make him jealous and fuel the fire, which is something you want to avoid.

7. Explain Why You’re Breaking Up

No matter if the two of you have been together for three weeks, two months, or a year, your partner deserves to know why you’re breaking up with him. Be honest about your decision and do it in a respectful way. Get to the point and leave it at that.

8. Stop Prolonging Things
After you have given it some thought and you decide that the breakup is your best option, don’t prolong the inevitable. There is no need to wait a month or several weeks. Once you know you for sure want to break up with him, then do it right away. Of course you don’t want to break up with him on his birthday or any special event, but don’t drag it out either.

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9. Make Sure You Have Learned Something from the Relationship

No matter how bad the relationship was, you should be able to take many lessons from it. When you decide to end your relationship, make sure you are taking valuable lessons away from it. Whatever you learn is going to help you in your future relationship. Here at New Jersey Singles, we know there are lessons to be learned, even in bad relationships.

10. Don’t Get into a Fight

Even if you are angry at him, a breakup is not the time to be putting him down. Breakups in themselves are hurtful and if you decide to insult each other, you’re going to drag it out and make it hurt even worse. Plus, if you get into a verbal argument with him, you’ll both end up hurt and angry.

11. Be Respectful

Although he might not show it when you’re breaking up with him, the truth is, all men hurt when their girlfriends break up with them. While you’re breaking up with him, you should try to be respectful of his emotions. Even if you don’t respect him and he doesn’t respect you, breakups can leave people feeling vulnerable. There is no need to belittle him, mock him, or put him down, even if that’s what you want to do.

12. Don’t Involve Others

Just like relationships, breakups should only be between two people. There is no point of bringing family or friends into the equation because it will make things worse. Make the move without bringing others into it; otherwise, it will bring unnecessary attention to the breakup.

13. It’s Okay to Be Emotional

 

When you are the one doing the breaking up, you are bound to feel very emotional. No matter if you’re angry, sad, or confused, there is no need to keep those feelings bottled up. Cry, scream, or do whatever it takes to let those feelings out. Though you might not feel all these emotions at once, be prepared because they will eventually come out.

Once you’re completely healed and ready to move on from your breakup, contact our matchmaking experts here at New Jersey Singles Dating Service and let us help you start meeting quality men who are compatible with you, men who are also serious about dating and settling down.

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